I’m not going to write much here about eating, because recently school and stress have been on my mind. And I have trouble writing about things that aren’t totally on my mind. This is more of a random share of my thoughts and ideas because I feel like I haven’t written on here recently.
The past couple weeks have been really hard, and I’m sure other people I know feel the same way. Personally, the lack of sleep, workload, and anxiety of those surrounding me has lead to multiple teary nights, irritability, and fatigue.
Last night, sitting in bed, I tired to think about something that would make me smile. Sometimes it feels like people are too productive to smile. Like sitting in a happy thought is a waste of time, because everyone is trying to move forward all the time.
I started to think about how, after each passing month of high school, I feel more distant from the person that I used to be, a person that I liked! I am usually not a fan of change, and reflecting back on how my life is different now than it was two years ago makes me feel afraid, and bummed out too. My smile had not really formed yet.
However, I was also thinking about how it is okay to celebrate aspects of yourself that you might not have anymore: this could be a characteristic, a relationship with a person, an opinion, or whatever you want. Sometimes it is nice to think, “I used to be that person, and it is alright to change. If I want, I can be that person again.” We are changing all the time, but that doesn’t mean we can’t get back parts of ourselves that we feel we have lost. Think back to someone who changed your life that isn’t really in it anymore, or something you used to do that you loved but rarely have the time to get to now. Those things are beautiful, and it is ok to smile about them rather than hate yourself for not doing them/being them/seeing them anymore. Sometimes, it is nice to leave something as a happy memory and not have to want it back.
It is also okay to give yourself some credit, and think about how you have changed and grown for the better. Give yourself a moment to be proud of who you are now, because you are great. Last night, I thought about all the cool things I do now that I never did before: lead a club, write a blog (!), talk to new people. I can like the “new” me and also like who I used to be, and I can change as much as I damn want.
Sorry for the ramble. I hope you can all spend some time and sit in a happy memory or thought, and let yourselves smile for a little. I guarantee spending time feeling good about yourself is not a waste of time.
Love, Mira
My Fast 